What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
