it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
