No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
