Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
