Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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