i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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