I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
