This girl is more easily done than said...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
