they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
