I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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