I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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