The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
