Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
