Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
tell me about the fingering
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