It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
