so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
