that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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