have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
