I'm really into asian looking animals
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
