I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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