There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
