Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
