If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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