She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize