You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
