I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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