By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize