New invention idea: vibrating tampons
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
