Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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