we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
