Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
