never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
