i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize