If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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