New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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