There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize