Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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