Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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