yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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