I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
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We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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