so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My breasts were aching with rage.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Randomize
