she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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