Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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