so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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