Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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