I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
