I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
