sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
