It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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