dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I got her a Nickelback box set.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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