That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
