So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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