I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
