Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
