Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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