i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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