it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
jump out the window naked night went bad
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize