So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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