Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sober January is a disaster.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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