I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
