Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she peed on how many people?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
