I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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