I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
